I am thinking of forcing the conflict; Constantly remind her just how painful and unacceptable it is, and make it clear that there will be no longer be a relationship until this is resolved. She is comfortable with the status Quo, maybe you need to make it uncomfortable?
This may mean the end of your marriage, but if you are married to someone who is so insensitive to your needs, then maybe this is what needs to happen anyways.
Until this problem is solved, I would make it the focal point of every conversation and interaction. Yes it will create tremendous, conflict, but maybe it is time for some conflict.
