Just regular old living my life, taking care of my sons, doing the needfuls that life tosses us. W is there, slowly rejoining.
I think she may be tossing a test or two at me. For example, I had to take s3 to a neurologist, W had made the appt but then wanted me to deal with it. I said "sure, I got this, no problem. It would be good if you were there too so we both get the same info, but if you can't get off work, no big deal" with a grin.
And she showed up. I think she was testing me, but I could be wrong, and, doesn't really matter, because I would have done the same as a single dad. Poor guy has to have an MRI...of course he is totally psyched to do it, can't wait to see his brain...that's my genes right there!
And a couple times she had not communicated running late at work or shopping after work. When she came home she was very apologetic, and she has been, and says she is, rather "spacey". This isn't really much different than her pre-mlc behavior, to be honest. It didn't bother me then, that was just her sometimes. Of course mlc had changed that for me, but I am getting back to pre-mlc "non-paranoid" about it...if that makes sense.
Pre-mlc it was blind trust in her and our R. Now it is that I trust myself, that I will "feel" something amiss, and be able to handle it, and trust that the truth will find a way to make itself known if she fails. And I will be okay if she does. I can let her go. Still don't want to, still think I probably won't have to, but I can.
She is opening up a bit more in cycles...about what is up with her, her work.
She called me from work yesterday, full of compliments about how I have been handling things, dealing with the boys, cooking, cleaning etc...gee, almost like db-ing, lol, lotsa validation...It's like she is slowly returning to the reality at hand in front of her. It's funny that she came into the MBR before leaving for work (rarely has done this since she moved to the couch over a year ago) to tell me that stuff, but decided to call me from work instead ...guess my morning hair was too scary...
But she knows I am not a morning person...shouldn't hit me with anything until I am on my second cup of coffee, preferably my third.
I did a wee bit of pursuing...W posts in her fb status she's sad about her never-ending acne..Raine suggested I post the Bruno Mars "Just the Way You Are" video as just a comment, no words, she never said anything, but it is still there...and trust me, W knows how to delete stuff on fb very well.
Other than that I don't respond too much to stuff she posts there, lots of those pithy self-help and motivation things and pics...I just "like" the stuff I truly like from time to time. Letting her get it out, and she IS including me now, not like before so....idk, whatever...its all good, no worries.
OH! W texted me happy birthday (first acknowledgement since 2011). I did have a bday, last year of my 40's.
And her clothes have joined the rest of ours in the dirty clothes sorter hamper (yes, I have a sorter hamper)...her undies were touching mine...lmao! Just something that made me laugh when I saw it...I laugh so easily now.
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
