H has been home since November 23rd. He is trying...most the time I agree with all T2 said, however, I feel that if you can stick with the first part it all does get better. Really, when you get to piecing wich most of us feel is our goal, well its not, the goal is a loving and happy R, so piecing really is just the beginning. The LRT and getting them to return home is just something we have to do to start the long process of piecing.
So, H is home, im happy I have come that far. Its definatly not all been a bed of roses and I also found lots of emotions rising once H was home... and whats more they still do. Right now I am feeling it. Im angry. Angry that he cheasted on me with someone who clearly looks like she could be his Mum. Im angry that he walked away. Im angry that I had to wait till he decided. Im angry that I had to tip that 1st domino( when I dont feel I knocked the first one down). lolol I know I know. Evry day I have to remind myself what I have learnt since I started Dbing.
As I said H is trying ( In his own way ) thats when I remind myself of all the R books I have read and what I learned from them and that is, how different we all are and H's Love language is different froom mine and what he thinks is trying, I may well see as dam well not trying.
Maybe he thinks Im not tryin?? because I do it my way. This is definatly not easy... we all knew that when we started out.
Now onto the good news
Its only really been in the last 4 weeks that I have seen a complete change in H. My changes are making him change.
Yes when he first came home he had all those things that T2 said, he felt guilty, I think he resented me, and much more but I keep up my Dbing, no matter what and he is changing!! he is loving me the way I want... a lot of the time... doing things I have "nagged" him to do for years, and guess what LOL I get more emotions rearing their ugly heads. The thing is we all know about the love tanks and how we have supposedly emptied theirs, well guess what?? they have emptied ours too. The reason we are not WAS is because they do it first!! They DB us, and we start to persue without even thinking about it. However, we get to read the DR and DB books, so we learn that walking away is not the ansewer.
We will just move on to another R and do it all over again.
This is the time the reall DBing starts, once they come home. You really do have to look deep inside yourself. Start to DB for the R, rather than to get H/W back.
