So yesterday H texts in the AM about how to handle his visit with the kids since OW is still at his house and he wanted to know what was acceptable to me. I called him and told him that I think OW has overstayed her welcome and that I really didn't think kids were ready to meet OW.
I started R talk and he asked why I was doing this now. I told him I had been saying the same things all along but I think he wasn't hearing me because of OW. Told him that I think he feels that if he told me he was willing to make it work he thinks I would want him to move right back home and everything would be ok. He confirmed that he thought I would think this. I said that I knew it would be a work in progress and that it would be like we would need to start dating again and I wouldn't want or expect him to move right in.He then asked what other people thought about our situation.I told him that most support me in wanting to make it work but one did say they wouldn't put up with this. I asked what people tell him and he said he doesn't really talk about it (although on a previous occasion we had a similar convo and he said he hears all different perspectives).
H then came over, spend entire day (12noon to 10PM) at our house (while OW was home at his house!!).
This am I texted him a dream I had. He responded and then said BTW good morning... that BTW threw me off a bit...
This evening I texted him why did he ask me what others thought. He responded that it's something he thinks about a lot and "Simple. I hate failure and having others see it as such." I clarified that he sees us as a failure and wonder if others do too? and he responded "Yes.I do."
I told him I'm not ready to give up on us and that I didn't believe he was either. He responded fair enough and he understood my perspective. I asked him if what I said was true. He responded he wasn't really sure. He thought we were going in the direction of having D papers drawn and now I was becoming aggressive in "keeping" him and he's perplexed and trying to figure out why.
I told him that I didn't think I was telling him anything different then I had been but that I thought he was hearing me now and that I felt somehow he was changed. He had to get back to work but said "We'll talk later."
A convo w/ my MIL this evening revealed that H had told her prior to Thanksgiving that he thought he loved OW. She thinks that the only real interest they share is drinking (which can lead to good convo,listening to music and physical attraction)...
Not really sure what to think or do at this point.
