During my H's drunken phone call a month ago, he admitted that he was a mess, lost, lonely and sad. I honestly believe that those were his true feelings and that they were not fueled by the alcohol or some attempt to manipulate me. He was completely vulnerable. Yet he keeps moving forward on his path towards a more permanent situation. It just makes no sense.
I was thinking a lot about your comment that you are worried about your son and the example that your H is setting for him. I often worry about this since I have three boys and how they will learn to be a good husband and dad. Tonight it hit me that it does not matter what my h does. I will teach my boys how to be a good person, a good spouse and a good parent. Husbands/wives and moms/dads should act in the same manner. Our H's don't have some special insight on how to be a good dad/husband. So we will show our kids how to be a good spouse and parent. We will teach them about healthy boundaries and faithfulness and responsibilities and love. I think that when children suffer it is probably because the LBS got stuck in the grief/anger or got caught up in a new relationship trying to mask the pain. It if you are an involved parent and good person, both your D and S will learn how to be a good spouse and parent. And when your kids are adults and ask about what happened, you will PROUDLY tell them about your journey, about how you persevered even when it seemed impossible, about how you handled yourself with dignity and grace and about how you loved your h unconditionally even when he did not deserve it. So while your heart breaks for your kids because they don't deserve this, know that they will be great because they have you as an example!!
