Paul - No need to mention how long you have been separated. Unfortunately, your W does not care and is likely not sad, at least not in the same way that you care. No need to point it out to her. I would avoid any mention of S or D. It will just fuel her desire to continue down that path.
I know that it hurts that your W is distant and acting like an alien. There will be a million things that go against your W's prior opinions/values/morals. Don't let the little things get you down. Keep on living your life. Let her see that your life with the kids will continue whether or not she is there.
