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Originally Posted By: 2stubborn2quit

I assume the daytime meetup is to avoid the kids (which I'm glad to do). There's always someone at my place so that's out..so why not her place? I can only assume she's not comfortable with me being there yet...her home office is in her bedroom so maybe...strange...


Quit asking questions, just get the room and go ride her like a rented mule, LOL!


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57
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LOL! That's the plan, room's reserved and all but dang she's gotten weird.


Resentment occurs when we aren't doing what we need to care for ourselves, though we expect others to do it for us.
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My stomach just turned.

I came to read up on your sitch cause I liked what you've written elsewhere.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
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I don't want to be passive/aggressive so, AS, I'm offended by your statement above.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
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I don't know why you're offended. If it's the banter, I didn't swear, I'm just enjoying a joke.

If it's the situation, I'm not bragging. After months of radio silence, she now goes from "I love you" to "this means nothing, I need you to leave me alone" in 5 minutes. It's confusing and I need to put it out there and see what I should make of it. Sometimes it's nothing, sometimes it's something I'm doing wrong.

Apologies if you believe this is just me being crude, but it's not.


Resentment occurs when we aren't doing what we need to care for ourselves, though we expect others to do it for us.
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I said AS, in my second post. Sorry for the confusion.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
Joined: Sep 2013
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Ok all kidding aside, I realize I didn't explain my concerns properly.

Perhaps there's someone who went through this before and tell me if I'm wrong. I assumed she would warm up to me, want to spend time with me, have some sort of emotional turn around before we started having sex. This isn't happening.

This is pretty much a booty call. She has no interest in dating, hanging out, nothing like that. Is this normal? Can this be considered progress towards R?

I realize it's a weird question. It's just that we went from no contact to sex...doesn't seem like the way it was supposed to go.


Resentment occurs when we aren't doing what we need to care for ourselves, though we expect others to do it for us.
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Originally Posted By: 2stubborn2quit
Ok all kidding aside, I realize I didn't explain my concerns properly.

Perhaps there's someone who went through this before and tell me if I'm wrong. I assumed she would warm up to me, want to spend time with me, have some sort of emotional turn around before we started having sex. This isn't happening.

This is pretty much a booty call. She has no interest in dating, hanging out, nothing like that. Is this normal? Can this be considered progress towards R?

I realize it's a weird question. It's just that we went from no contact to sex...doesn't seem like the way it was supposed to go.


Who knows. I think you just do it if (and as long as) you enjoy it. I started to feel used by my H, and I was kind of right . . . while he did say that it was both emotional and physical for him, he had zero intent of R. But, your sitch could be different. I think that MWD says that ML is always a good thing, as long as you feel comfortable with it. Meaning you are physically and emotionally protected.

I think you are best to go into this with no expectations.Just enjoy yourself and see where it leads, if anywhere.


me: 44 XH: 42
M 11 years
D10 and S8
Bomb drop 9/27/13
D final 7/1/14
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Ok, so I'm just assuming to much about how this should be playing out? Makes sense.


Resentment occurs when we aren't doing what we need to care for ourselves, though we expect others to do it for us.
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I'm pretty close to where you are at the moment 2s2q. Keep the expectations down, respond to your wife's needs (if she wants it, she wants it), ENJOY IT (!) and go back to living your own life afterwards.

You'll have to fight thoughts for a couple of days but you know what has worked and you know what needs to be done. Have fun with it.


Me: 31, W: 29
T: 4 M: 2
Kids: 3 (SS: 7, SD: 4, D: 3)
Separated, still living together: Nov 2013
Separate bedrooms: Feb 2014
W working away; kids with me: Nov 2014
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