New to This - An English Man In Trouble

[Hadlee58]

Well a quick update:
My wife decided not to go away for the weekend and opted to stay home. Things were pretty tense friday night through to saturday lunch when i decided it was time to take the bull by the horns and sort this mess out. I took my wife to my parents and we talked through in a calm manner and managed to clear the situation up, hindsight is a wonderful thing and if i can take anything out of this its to get in early and sort without delay. A simple call/chat with my parents the morning after the incident would have gone a long way to saving a lot of heartache, all cleared up and i can take my responsibility for letting it drag on.
Things did lighten up after this and i am back on calmer waters (for how long is anyones guess!). I do feel an air of calm within myself in that i am prepared for whatever comes, in the meantime i will continue to work on myself. In some ways i have lost a bit of self respect for her in this episode and whilst i am not ready to throw the towel in yet i dont feel so inclined to worry about what my actions do to her or make her feel if that makes sense? and that she now has some work to do and its not all on my shoulders.....
During our last R conversation (over Xmas) she mentioned that she cant just turn on her feelings again but we are heading in the right direction, one nugget i missed or hadnt thought too much into was when she said she had felt unloved and our marraige has been bad for years - for me to hope things might be back on track in 6-9 months is probably wishful thinking, my worry is that she sees this as some sort of penance for me. I will continue working on me (am looking at gyms to join this week) and understand how she feels and what she needs and hope she doesnt loose any more of my respect before we can get to the stage of moving on, hopefully with the help of some outside resources .

Thanks!!!