I will continue to post in your thread...never fear, m'dear!
1-Is there any way for a LBS to know if BD, AP, etc... is part of a life crisis or just simply BD and AP, no crisis included?
It can be difficult at times to distinguish the difference between a simple WAS and MLCer. To me, what differentiates a person who is a WAS from a MLCer is in the eyes. The MLCer is lost with vacant eyes and demonstrates visible memory loss as in Swiss cheese. As for the WAS, they're fed up, overwhelmed and plain angry so they walk away. MLCer's thought process is on the blinker which is manifested in illogical thinking and irrational behaviors.
As far as OWs/OMs are concerned, it is not 100% given that the MLCer will have one. Whereas, the WAS will MOST certainly have an OM/OW in the picture.
2-At any point in MLC Wonka, did you "know" you were in it? Or did self-eval bring you clarity? Did Mrs. Wonka ever think or vocalize those questions? If so, did it make you mad?
Nope. How can we know or have any insight that what we were experiencing is MLC?? As with 99.9% of the population, I bought into the old cliche that MLC is when old men want to buy red Ferrari's and have sex with 20-somethings. Nor did Ms. Wonka ever think that I had MLC...very much doubt it.
As for the clarity part, it was a process that did not include any self-awareness. It was as if I rode out in the deep ocean on a boat and encountered a heavy mist that engulfed me. That was MLC to me. At some point, the fog lifted from me and I started to notice my surroundings...that is the first sign that a person is leaving the MLC--what people term here "leaving the tunnel."
I am not clear on what you mean by Ms. Wonka vocalizing questions and if that made me mad. Can you please give me some examples so I can answer them better?
I feel like it's easy to "protect" our spouse behavior with the diagnosis of MLC, I know I am guilty of that. "Abducted by Aliens" etc... Did you, in the wave of it all, ever realize what you were in? I guess that's my question. smile
Again, I had ZERO knowledge or awareness that I was dab smack in the middle of MLC. During my infrequent bouts of lucidity, I told Ms. Wonka about 1-2 months after BD that "something is wrong with me", "I'm not the bad guy here." I felt suffocated and felt like someone had invaded me. The sense of not being in control was very strong in me at that time.
