When I get really upset, he will withdraw and start with "you're crazy, are you off your meds, I can't deal with this, I'm only in it for the boys, we need to D" etc.
It sounds like he doesn't really think you're crazy, but rather he's pushing buttons. Buttons that he KNOWS are going to get a negative reaction. He wants to escalate things. MWD talks about breaking these patterns in DR, she uses the example of a couple that decided they would only fight in the nude so when one of them started pushing the other's buttons they would start stripping. By the time they were naked they were usually laughing so hard that they couldn't continue the fight. My point is this- you can change the pattern by yourself. Figure out what you can do/ say to arrest the fight next time. When your H says you're crazy, how can you react to that? Maybe say "yup, you're right, I'm certifiable" and then stick your tongue out and flap it around and roll your eyes and make silly sounds to show how "crazy" you are. Just do something totally off the wall and unexpected!
