Its alright to not know yet, hell that's part of the process, we get tired, we get frustrated, we even get impatient. Your not supposed to have all the answers, just the time and patience to let yourself off the hook for needing it now.
2nd- I agree with Fly's comments, when I read your post I sensed a lot of frustration. And it appears that frustration is because your W is not reacting the way YOU want her to react. She was reaching out to you, so you started getting your hopes up. Then she pulled back again and you got upset/ frustrated. That's why we call it the roller coaster, there are highs and lows!
It's tough detaching from the roller coaster, but it's the best thing you can do for your own sanity. When you get to the point where you really don't care when your W reaches out or pulls back, when her roller coaster ride has no effect on your own attitude, THEN you'll be in a position to decide whether you want to continue standing or pursue D. I don't think you're there yet, so time, space and detachment is what you should concentrate on. You can do it
