M - this is how your H feels TODAY. It does not mean that it won't change in the future. Although it was the complete opposite of what you wanted to hear and feels like a blow to the stomach, you know have view into your H's current thinking to figure out how you want to move forward.
Make sure that you wait at least 48 hours to talk to your H about anything none kid related. I think that you handled yourself well giving the fact that he sprang it on you right after your vacation.
M - this is all about your H and his crisis. H clearly is attracted to you and likes spending time with you. H is acting like a child and probably questioning whether he should have been married and had kids in the first place. My H is exactly the same. Your H does not like the responsibility and does not want to answer to anyone about anything.
All you can do is let him go. Let him have the time and no responsibilities. It may get old and he may be as miserable as before. That is his journey.
Although this convo was probably the hardest thing you have ever done, you will be able to process the emotions and move forward. I think that you now have the answers to make decisions about your boundaries. Take some time to think about what you want now that you know what your H said.
Moving forward you should definitely trust your gut. You knew something was up with your H. Believe in yourself.
You can do this M!! You are strong. You are an amazing mom. Focus on yourself and your kids. Set some healthy boundaries. It will help you feel like you have a little bit of control in a situation that feels out of control. Give yourself this week to really think about what you want (other than your H).
