I decided I needed to just know what he was talking about. So I asked.
This is via text, starting with his response to what we needed to talk about.
***
H: Yeah. And we can do it on the phone or in person - whatever you want. But I think we should start discussing things like a more permanent custody arrangement and financial support and all that.
M: I haven’t thought about that very much. I think I must have misunderstood some things, because this is a surprise to me.
H: I'm sorry for that. I was worried that I had created some confusion. Nothing has changed in terms of my goals here. I don't want to be married. That doesn't mean that I don't love and care about you. But I have no interest in being in a relationship like that now or ever.
M: A relationship like what?
H: A marriage relationship. Where there are obligations and expectations
M (after a while): I’m not meaning to ignore you. I just don’t have any idea what to say.
H: I'm sorry if I communicated something different to you.
M: I think this is a weird conversation to have over text.
H: Yeah, but I tend to want to have sex with you when we talk in person. And that doesn't seem like a good idea.
M: This is very confusing. I am not sure if I understand what you are saying. And I don’t understand why you want to have sex with me. Just purely for the physical pleasure of it?
H: I care about you and I enjoy the physical and emotional experience of sex with you. However, I do not want to be married to you or anyone else now or ever. I don't know if I can explain it any better than that.
****
I am sitting here, with my mouth gaping open.
WHAT? Who says this? What the F does this mean? I don't even know how to feel right now. Should I feel relieved? Angry? Hurt? Is he crazy? Or is he truly just an unbelievably selfish person? So selfish that he can admit it and think it's OK?
Uhhhhh. Anyone want to take a crack at this? I'm speechless.
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
