OMs, cycling, cakes and confusion Oh my Lord ;)

[SM34]

Thank you for the tips everyone. You are all absolutely right.. I need to practice being humble. I really dont actually think I'm better than her, or anyone else, but if so many people (and my w) think so then it must be true that I come off that way. I'm going to try to be very conscious of it from now on. Out with the old, in with the new.

So we just got done having a financial planning session. She was on the laptop looking into new health insurance for us on healthcare.gov and I was adding up our monthly expenses and debt. She says this year she is very serious about us becoming debt free. She says she is done with seeing me stressed out and wants to do whatever she can to help.

So i wanted to motivate her to get to work so she can pull out of this funk she is in. So in asked her how much her monthly checks will be for last month and next month and did reverse math to figure how many hours she has worked. So I said hey you are working 15 hours a week which is three hours a day. Why? You have the chance to really help us, with your work from the comfort of our home for $20 an hour and no cap on how many hours they pay you for (great deal right? So many people would kill for a job like that that also pays so well). I said if you worked a 40 hour week you can contribute $800 a week to our income!!

I was taking a chance by saying this so early in this process but i wanted to see how committed she is to our family and helping us get out of debt and to a better place. Her answer was exactly what i wanted to hear!!

W: I know baby, you are absolutely right. My head has not been where it should be, for a looong time now. Its time to be a contributing part of this team.

Answer shows commitment, aknowledgement of her head being somewhere else, shows she wants to be part of the team, shows she is ready to be an EQUAL. She felt less than because she hasn't worked or contributed pretty much our entire 14 years, and we are paying for it now. There are of course other reasons she felt lesser than me, as we mentioned earlier, but this has always been a big one for her. She always hated relying on me but never had the motivation to change it. Part of her low self esteem..and low energy, low motivation. Could change now, we will have to see