WANT TO COAST ON FLAT LAND

[Ambivalent]

I feel much better if he was fishing...I didn't respond, just smiled and listened.

As for my fears...I am facing them every single day. It scares the Hell out of me. My biggest is trying to save my home, and not having to uproot myself during all of this. I want to feel safe/secure.

Losing my home, five doglets and his credit, ehya, that is too much reality for me right now.

I'm not doing drugs, not drinking, not screwing around...I'm dancing a couple nights a week. Burning some calories, and working out at the gym.

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Tomorrow is a busy day. I'm going to get up at six to workout . Then come back shower and get ready for school. The insurance adjuster comes for the fire damage, at nine.

I don't want the check to go anywhere but here. Not sure how to arrange it without creating curiosity from the adjuster.

The stuff that burned really was stuff that mattered to me. If he gets the check, I'll never see the money nor any replacement of the rug and pie safe.

After that, I go to school. On my way home I'd like to get some new sheets and a duvet cover. I'm tired of my wee ones getting sick on my chambray comforter. It's too big for myself to wash, and I don't want to pay for dry-cleaning so often.

With a duvet, I can just pop it in the wash and it's done! I also need to drop off the paperwork at the atty's office. NOT looking forward to that.

I will be on pins and needles when the petition is filed. Then I'm cut off, I just know it. He is going to get mean, and I will want to crawl into a hole.

And after all of that, I have my new dance class! I hope some new folks attend, it is always nice to meet new people.