Here are both letters I plan to send to my MIL and FIL. Please provide and feedback or things I should remove.
Dear FIL,
Part of my recovery program includes the following three steps. 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. 9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. 10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
I write to you today to make many apologies. I am sorry for emotionally harming you, your daughter, and your wife. I know I caused a lot of pain. I want to specifically apologize for an instance where I embarrassed you as a result of being intoxicated and that was at X’s wedding in San Diego. I imbibed too much and I was an embarrassment to you and your family. I apologize for behaving that way at the wedding. I also apologize for the night I went to Dave and Buster’s for the bachelor party with Y, Z and my friends. I came home inebriated and was not nice to anyone in front of my guests. I am sorry for that as well.
I also want to apologize for the way I treated your daughter and your wife in your own home that you so lovingly opened to me. I am sorry for being an ungrateful guest. I truly appreciated your generosity and your wisdom as you did your best to counsel me while walking with K.
I also want to apologize for a comment I made to Katy while you were away on a trip. I was talking to her about financial matters, and I made a comment that “a fool and his money are soon parted.” I don’t even know if you heard of it, but I know I said it, so I want to say that I am sorry for that as well. I think you did an amazing job saving, investing and preparing for your future. You made the sacrifice and served our country, and were able to save even on just one income. You are in no way a fool. I am sorry that phrase ever slipped out of my mouth.
I know that no apologies can make up for anything that has taken place. I can only let you know that moving forward I am committed to showing others love, not being an embarrassment, and trying to make all who know me proud to say they are associated with me.
I know that forgiveness is a process, not something that is just simply done one day. I ask that you do your best to forgive me for my transgressions. There is a chance that we may bump into one another around town, and I assure you I will treat you with love, dignity, and respect if I run into you or any of your family.
Sincerely and with love, Me
Dear MIL,
Part of my recovery program includes the following three steps. 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. 9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. 10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
I write to you to apologize for many things. First, I want to apologize for my actions directly related to drinking. I made a fool of myself and was an embarrassment to you at X’s wedding. I remember you showing me the pictures where I was making a stupid face in every picture and saying “that’s my son-in-law.” That was such an embarrassing moment for me. I cannot imagine how it made you feel to actually be at the wedding with people you knew and friends knowing who I was and that I was related to you while I acted like that. I am so sorry for embarrassing you, FIL, and W while intoxicated.
I also want to say how very sorry I am for how I treated you once we got here. I made you out to be the source of all my angst and problems. I know now the only person responsible for my happiness is me. I was trying to remove the speck from your eye before removing the log from my own. I have removed many logs from my eyes in the last few months.
I also want to apologize for how I treated your daughter. I know she is your best friend and that you love her immensely. FIL’s description of you being the mama bear is so apt, I know why you rallied around your cub. I also want to apologize for how I treated FIL, not showing him nearly enough respect in his own home. I have nothing but respect for FIL, and I am sorry that I ever showed anything but that.
I am also sorry that I did not show you respect in your own home. You mentioned once that “this is your house now” meaning you felt I had taken over. I understand why you felt that way. I am sorry for ever making you feel uncomfortable in your own home.
I also want to apologize for how I treated your sister M, and H when they were out to visit. There is no excuse for my actions or behaviors.
You also were instrumental in bringing me back to my faith and helping to give me a set of principles to live my life by. Like the prodigal son that lost it all, I have finally returned and I owe much of that to your perseverance and prayer for me. I am truly blessed that out of this situation I was able to re-kindle my relationship with Christ.
I know forgiveness is not something just given one day. It is an ongoing process, where when you think of my transgressions you will have to choose to forgive over and over. I ask for your forgiveness for my many inequities. If we should run into each other at some point I will treat you with love, dignity and respect.
Sincerely and lovingly, Me
H: 29 WAXW: 30
Bomb Drop- 9/9/13 Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14 D Final- 5/21/14 XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
