I can't believe the input - I am so grateful. Thank you.
LoisB - I just cried reading your post. Your strength to get you through what you went through is absolutely amazing. You said you are proud of your daughter. You should also be proud of yourself. Please know that I am treating this very seriously. That's why I came back to the boards - these boards are what got me through the divorce bomb.
Subguy - I appreciate your words, but especially your prayers. Thank you!
Ambivalent - A couple of years ago, I noticed a scar/scratch on my daughter's thigh. She said that it was from her father's dog. I let it go because there were no other marks - but I have always kept it in the back of my mind and I have always looked. The incident that opened all of this up was a burn. Her excuse was a complete lie and she was caught. I did look up the S.A.F.E. website and there is a local counselor and I am calling tomorrow. I spent the day researching this self harm and she fits the "typical candidate" to a T. She is bright, articulate, and hurting. I also saw many pictures of arms from chronic cutters...we aren't at that level of seriousness and don't want to go there so I know the early intervention is critical. Thank you for sharing your story with me....it really does help.
kml - I remember you from years ago....and I have been watching for anything else that is different. I am not fearing eating disorders now, but do get concerned about her relationships with boys. I read once that when they don't get the attention from their dad, they look for that attention elsewhere. Thank you for posting!
Rick - I don't believe that her intent is to kill herself - I think you are correct that it is a coping mechanism for her. She is most definitely in emotional pain. However, with all of this being said - I don't discount anything anymore. She is hurting so anything is possible.
The good news is that today was a good day. She and I spoke for a long time. We have always had a close relationship but I always knew that I didn't know everything - she is a teenager after all and I am the mom. We spoke about a lot - not just about this but about many things in her life now. Actually a normal conversation for us. I did tell her that I appreciated her talking to me yesterday and told her that she said some things that were eye opening to me (like she is stoic like me). I talked to her about her dad and telling him and she asked me not to. I agreed but told her that it would depend on the situation and that I would never blindside her and would tell her when and if I told him. She did tell me that she was happy that I didn't just brush it off - meaning that when I didn't believe her explanation of her knee, I pursued it and didn't let it go because it would have been easier.
So I am happy about the day, but still very scared and cautious. Tomorrow I will make some calls and see what I can find out about starting some therapy.
I do feel like I did when I got the initial divorce bomb....I feel like I am in a fog, no appetite, prone to tears, etc. Only this is so much worse. None of these kids deserve this.
Thank you again, everyone, for your advice and kind words!
