It's hard to see a reason why you wouldn't make your needs known when you truly have them. What are your thoughts about that? I know you're giving him time and space, but curious how you think about that?
When H was here over Thanksgiving, I gave him a long letter that was more like a journal entry about what I was feeling, what I needed and how I felt about what he was doing in India.
It spelled out what I needed to rebuild trust, how I felt about the new factory (wished a meteor what hit it) and how I felt about where our R was.
It was during that trip that he said he wanted D, which he later changed his mind about - said that's not what he wants.
Since that time, I have completely backed off with OW talk, R talk, all of that. I've just been happy me who is doing just fine.
He is very well aware of what I need, what I want and how I feel. I keep reminding myself that they hear what we say and we don't have to keep repeating it. And, in his case, he has it in writing and can refresh his memory at any time.
But, I am beginning to think that he thinks the status quo is ok .. that we are friends again and he can keep on doing what he's doing and I'll accept whatever he tosses my way.
I see a few positive signs in re to his feelings toward me, but as far as continuing to pursue his "dream" over there, he is full throttle forward. That means he is there 5 - 6 weeks, home for a week at best, then back over there 5 - 6 weeks, etc.
I could lay down an ultimatum - me or the factory - and I am pretty certain he would choose me, but his resentment would be huge. I don't have an issue with his factory with the exception that he thinks it can run without his presence - which means he is never home. He is very well aware that this life is not what I want.
So, I have made my feelings known. I just think it's time for a reminder and don't know how to do that without doing damage to the small progress we've made or possibly making him run futher back in the tunnel
Me: 59 and holding H: :53 Me: 1 S, 1 D, both grown M: 19 T: 23 BD: 9-23-2013
