A twist on cake-eating & dropping a bomb of my own

[2Times2Many]

If I had said I needed him here, he would have taken good care of me, but I would have heard a lot about how much he (and the business) sacrificed so he could be here. Fortunately, I seem to be recovering faster than I expected ... or it could be these awesome meds they sent me home with!

I do think that he is not so far gone that he doesn't feel bad about how he's behaving. He has driven me absolutely crazy about how to handle things under the circumstances, about who can stay here with me, go shopping for me, etc. What signs to watch out for in case bleeding starts again. And the biggie ... finding someone to bring me the anniversary flowers that are going to be delivered to the office tomorrow. I think I sense a little guilt there ... maybe.

How do we know?? The lines are getting blurry as we travel further and further away from when he was remotely sane.

I don't know. My C keeps telling me that I need to set a deadline - for waiting. I don't know how you do that when you're basically on a roller coaster. I am ready to set a deadline when things are crappy, but when I see positive movement, thoughts about deadlines kind of fly out the window. Rinse, Repeat. And do it again.

I am fortunate that my H doesn't seem to be as far gone as some on here. He's pretty mixed up ... still quite lost ... but we've moved past the point that I am to blame for everything wrong with his life.

I suppose that there comes a time when you just know ... somewhere inside ... that what you are getting is all you will ever get. I suppose the trick is to recognize that and have the courage to do what is best for you.