...the thing that really makes me angry is that he sought, and I feel like I gave him, permission to be a jerk ... now he can justify his inattentiveness to my needs by telling himself that I said I didn't need him ... so that makes it okay. The last thing I want to do is tell him it's okay to treat me like crap. That is not okay! I want to avoid that trap in the future if I can.
I think you did. But, if you had said, "Yes, I need you" ...what then? What do you think he would've done? Would he have been resentful for being there? Is he in a place where he would have been any real comfort?
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I understand what Raine means by accepting the fire. I can accept who he is today as long as I feel like he his is still on his MLC journey. If I thought the changes in him were permanent, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't settle for him. I know I can have and deserve better ... ironically, he is the one who showed me that.
Me too. Me too. How do we know?? The lines are getting blurry as we travel further and further away from when he was remotely sane.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
