A few updates. Feel free to help read the tea leaves.
I texted my W on Friday saying I hope she had a nice day. No expectations for a response. She promptly responded about her day and that began about 15 minutes of chatting back and forth. Some of it just silly, keeping things playful.
Saturday would normally be a day she would stop by to "see the cat," but I didn't hear from her until early that evening. As much as I wanted to contact her, I kept the struggle to myself. I was pleasantly surprised when she texted me to say she wanted to see the cat but wasn't feeling well. I told her I hoped she would be better soon.
Today, she texted me earlier than normal asking if she could stop by since she was feeling better. This would be the first time I have seen her in almost three weeks. She stopped at the grocery store on the way and put the perishables in the house fridge. She then turned her attention to the cat. She talked a little bit about her holiday. It didn't sound very pleasant. She admitted to spending 6-8 hours one day watching nothing but TV until three in the morning. This is the same person who wouldn't watch a movie with me if it went past nine pm. She then returned to her pattern of talking about work. I mostly listened, adding the occasional observation. After a little more than a half hour, she indicated she was starting to not feel well and got up to go. I told her I hope she gets well soon and she responded, "Yeah, bye."
Is she back to cold and distancing? Is she trying to avoid giving me hope? A bit of my anxiety and heartache returned today. I know it is caused at least in part by not sharing my feelings and asking the questions I want answers to. How do I change this dynamic?
