I wonder if your W feels that since OM is part of her life the kids need to get use to him being around, thus she invites him in hopes their feelings for him will change w/ time and experiences together.

I know that has to be a tough situation, especially when hearing your kids hope for R and do not enjoy being around OM. You are handling it well. We cant be stone w/ every situation...some things will affect us at times. Its good you've taken note of how you felt.

me: 30 H:30
tgthr:7 m:4
no kids
5 counseling sessions initiated by H as a LR: Oct 2012
long distance marriage b/c of work since Nov 2012
official BD: July 2013
nothing filed
1/1/14 I dropped the rope