1) How did W behave during post-op recovery? What was her overall demeanor? W's overall demeanor has been uber-loving, very appreciative of my support, but I can sense that she is definitley in a personal space of healing and recovery so I have left all marital recovery stuff warming on the back burner (at your advice!) and it has definitely been the right thing to do. Sometimes she cries, well she cries a lot. My intuition pings sometimes that the tears are not only post-op but AP grieving/guilt as well. I leave it all alone and let her sit with it. I'm not trying to mind read, but I'm realistic. She's riding some rough waves with her body recouping, her A ending and our reconnection. I keep in mind she's dealing with all that AND percocet. So... I'm not borrowing any trouble Wonks! And practicing STFU like SD taught me... where is that girl anyway?
2) As for visiting the ILs for the first time in 13 years, how did that make you feel? How did W feel about this? Did that encourage more closeness between you two? It wasn't the first time I've visited, just the first time I was included in "holiday" time. It was great. W has been vocal to her 2 supportive brothers and mother about her angst that her father and oldest brothers don't include me. I thank her each time I hear her. It seems to empower her. YES! It has most definitely encouraged more connection. I have made an effort to call her mom on a couple of times on my own to say hello, thanks her for the gift, or just check in. This is a major 180 that I think W is very atuned to. In the past I was of the mindset that if they didn't accept me then I didn't need them. Big puffed up ego stuff. I am trying to make more of an effort to connect. Flies with honey kind of thing. I have know for years it meant a lot to my W but I was stubborn and "right". I am confidently changing that.
3) Where does W stand in regard to the ex-OW? Well... I'm not asking. I take that back. On the way home from her brothers after we were separated for a week, I did ask. It was the right time and non-chalant... I said, "It hasn't come up, but did you and x-AP have any contact over Christmas?" She said, "No we haven't. Not at all." I said, "Thanks, for answering me. I needed to ask but I'm sorry if it upset you." (I don't know why I apologized. She didn't seem angry at all. (co-dependant scardy child crept up I guess) She answered, "No problem. I understand. But no, No contact at all."
4) Are there plans to attend Gottman-based MC? We have not made MC plans yet. We have discussed that it's coming but she asked for some time to do IC first. I am respecting that.
Me(F):40 WAW:44 T:13yrs M:9yrs BD:2/12 (I saw a text) ILYBINILWY: 5/12 PA admission: 12/12 (began 3/11) S:2/13 Moves in w/AP D begins: 7/13 W moves home to R: 10/13
