The schedule is, he has them two overnights a week - Tuesday or Wednesday and Friday or Saturday. Never on a Sunday. I imagine he thinks that he should get them extra now since I have had them for a week. I would like to say, "not seeing them for a week was your choice." Perhaps that is why he is being so passive - because he knows it.
Yes, I do think of it as time with their Dad, and I know my kids need that. I would not take that away from them to satisfy my own agenda. But it pisses me off that I have to give them up - and that they have to go back and forth - because my H decided to be selfish.
As far as a schedule goes, so far I have been trying not to be "controlling" about it. My MO is to plan things in advance, H doesn't like that. Also, he likes to leave things for me to plan (claiming he is not good at planning, doesn't like it, forgot, or whatever), and then gets resentful about the fact or the way that I planned them. When I plan, or even suggest, it allows him to blame me for whatever it is that he needs to blame someone for.
So, I have been, for the most part, forcing him to make his own decisions and own them. But I am tired of this - I think there needs to be a schedule at least a few weeks in advance with the kids.
Perhaps I will just say, "H, the kids are asking a lot about their schedule, and it is difficult for me not to have the answers. I think it would be beneficial to them and us if we could plan their time with you several weeks in advance."
Then do I make a proposal? Because otherwise he'll say, "OK." or "Sure. What's the schedule?"
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
