Thank you so much for responding! My daughter is also very sensitive to my feelings and I have been lying to her for years. I just never wanted to have that kind of ugly divorce (or any divorce for that matter) and I just always tried to protect them from everything. They do not know about their dad's multiple affairs, the verbal and written lashings, the inconsistency of child support.... The divorce was hard enough for them without all of this other adult crap thrown in the mix.
You said your daughter was in a dark place.....Did your daughter attend therapy and participate? That is my challenge - my daughter is so stubborn that when she says she won't go, she means it. That's the part that is hard for me. I have been down this road with her before and it didn't work out at all. As far as for me, I was doing good. I've moved on, accepted the new reality and leaned on family and friends at the beginning. But I do admit that this has thrown me for a loop and old feelings of hating him for hurting my children are re-surfacing.
My kids were looking at old videos recently.....apparently there were some with their dad....back when things were "perfect". I think it sent her back to dark days. She said that she relapsed...she did it before around the time her dad remarried but hadn't for some time now. But then they watched the movies.... I noticed something years ago and asked her about it but she had a plausible excuse. I kept any eye out and didn't notice anything else until yesterday. She finally admitted it today and I think we have both been walking around in a fog. I think she is angry and embarrassed that she got caught. I am just afraid.
