Don't know what to think

[tigerlily78]

Okay, you are probably going to get several posts from me here and I hope they make sense... I am a little loopy at the moment from a long hard day and not a lot of sleep.

I think it is awesome you are trying a raw food diet. Definitely keep ME posted on how that is going for you, I am really interested in that. My H actually bought me/us a couple books books on Raw Foods, but at the time I didn't really have a lot of the gear to so some of the more interesting things.

DO NOT take what he says seriously about "living a lie for his whole life" ... they almost ALL say this too. Mine certainly did, that he had been "repressing his true self to make everyone else happy" or something like that. But really, it is baloney. You do not live with someone for 15 or 20 years and not know who they really are. If anything the problem is that RIGHT now they don't know who they really are... they want the "new, improved" self to be the REAL them and the thing they need to be in order to be happy. BUT, they don't actually KNOW if that is true... its all very much self delusion and wishful thinking.

You may remember in my case I pointed out many examples of how my H is clearly acting the opposite of his true character... he was going out ALL the time, spending less time alone, being really vain, spending money on clothes and cologne and other superficial stuff. ALL of this was the exact opposite of how he truly was for our entire time together. He IS an introvert... why in the world would he have ever pretended that or FAKED that, if being with other people 24/7 and basking in their constant attention is what would have made him happy? He wouldn't of and I don't think he COULD have. So what's really happening is he is PRETENDING really hard that he is not an introvert, but it's exhausting.

I think in time you will see that YOU really did know your H, the issue is that right now he is too confused to be able to know himself. He threw out all the old pieces of himself to try and make room for the new ones... but in time he will probably realize those new pieces don't fit together properly within him. He will probably throw a lot of them back and take up some of the old ones, if not most of them. You won't know for sure until he finishes the process of reconstructing his "self."