I agree with Soupman. I think that this whole piecing business is a test. It is a test of how much we have truly grown and changed. It is a test of our strength and commitment to the Db beliefs.
Quote: ...Only that it pained me to figure out that while I was suffering the aftereffects of the radioactive iodine treatment that ablated my thyroid, he was thinking to himself "gee, maybe I could find myself a woman like this who's thinner and more athletic than my wife is right now". I always thought that this thinking was a precursor that helped get my H to the point where he was vulnerable to the OW when she showed up...
Ellie, you should know better by now! Where's the 2x4? Did you suddenly become clairvoyant? How can anyone know what your H was thinking? Many assumptions here!!! These are your own neurotic devils talking in your head! I recognize them because I have them too. This is a self-esteem challenge that takes time to heal. Remember, your H is with YOU now. He has chosen to be with YOU...not anyone else who is thinner or younger or whatever. Don't squander what you have TODAY by worrying about what happened in the past.
Keep moving forward! Chin up...chest out! Maybe you should trip in his face again.
Christine
I am the master of creating positive energy and love in my own environment. I am the source of love in my life. It starts with me! This energy radiates from me! It gives me strength, courage, wisdom and grace!
Actually, I don't have any problem with this woman - so the "cherishing" part won't be hard, Soup. I don't even suspect her of so much as flirting with my H. I guess it just ticks me off that I can no longer be that strong, confident woman who wasn't threatened by my H's friendships with women - not because I'm any less strong or confident, but only because I'm no longer that naive about the nature of others and my H's potential for weakness.
D had a bad, teary evening last night, but doing better today. I'm going out of town with my H on business for two days, my mom will be staying with her. I'm a little nervous about her but know that 2 days won't make the difference one way or another and H and I can really use a couple of days to ourselves.
Hi all - back from my weekend away with H. It was great being away with him. I do think my D managed to sneak some purging past my mother while I was gone, though
Thanks, Ellie for posting to my thread. You are showing such strength incaring for your daughter. So level-headed. This is something I need to cultivate. Thank you for continuing to be such an inspiration. Keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Mockers2
"Somehow we survive, and tenderness frustrated does not wither." Dennis Brutus, South African poet
"That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
Friedrich Nietzsche
Hi all, I'm still here, just having trouble finding time to post on my own thread
Things are pretty stable here - pretty busy supervising D. She seems to be in a better mood these past few days. She had a little sore throat off and on for a few days - didn't think much of it as H had a minor sore throat that turned into a cold - but last night she was up in the middle of the night complaining that it really hurt, so this morning I'm taking her in to the pediatrician for a throat culture (NOT her regular pediatrician - I'm definitely never going to her again!).
Coincidentally, D had a blood test on Monday that included a test for recent strep infection. I had asked her psychiatrist to add this to her regular bloodwork because there are rare cases of anorexia or OCD that are triggered by strep infections (a syndrome called PANDAS) and since my father had rheumatic fever (an autoimmune reaction after strep infection) I thought we should at least screen for it. We are due to see the psychiatrist later today so it will be interesting to see how the test results come out.
H is gone for his annual weekend ski trip with his best friends - they've gone to some really macho steep skiing resort in Colorado, and this year one of my H's brothers is joining them. I kind of feel sorry for the other guys - the competition between my h and his brother will push them to levels of skiing that can only intimidate everyone else, I'm sure
I know H will have a great time - he has great friends, this is not a boozy kind of "guys weekend" - a very philosophical group, they have all kinds of great convos about the meaning of life when they get together.
H brought me a beautiful bouquet of flowers before he left, and called me this morning to say hi.
Okay, a little off topic here, but I just had the weirdest coincidence happen today, I have a feeling it was meant to be.
I've been doing a lot of research into anorexia in light of my daughter's illness, of course. Sometimes research like that takes you off onto little tangents. Well, this morning I was researching some of the hormones which can be disturbed in this illness, and some rare cases of misdiagnosis where a patient was thought to have anorexia but actually had Addison's disease - failure of the adrenal glands (usually due to autoimmune disease). Then I ran across an article from the NIH which stated that women with premature ovarian failure (very early menopause) have a 300 fold increased risk of developing Addison's disease.
Well, Addison's disease is quite rare, and although very treatable with cortisone, the diagnosis is often missed. Untreated Addison's disease can be fatal if the person develops a serious infection and can't increase their natural cortisol to help fight it.
Premature ovarian failure is also rare - in fact, I don't think I ever diagnosed a case, and I've seen more than my share of rare diseases. But I remembered that I do know a woman with premature ovarian failure (menopause at age 29!). Her kids and mine went to school together in the early grade school years, and she lives a few blocks away, but I really haven't seen her in a couple of years.
So, I printed off the article and threw it in with the papers I was taking with me today to read in waiting rooms etc. I think I thought that someday I might drop it off for her. D had pediatrician appointment today and later psych appointment. Psych increased one of her meds so we had to go to the pharmacy to get them. Just as we are checking out of the pharmacy - this woman checks in next to me! I told her I had an article for her in my car - she starts telling me about all these vague complaints she's been having, which could indeed be mild symptoms of Addison's disease!
It was just too spooky, I definitely feel like there was some kind of divine intervention at work here!
Maybe you should trip in his face again.