I agree, you didn't sacrifice your boundaries in a possible moment of weakness. Its tough, I know, but he's going to have to make a choice right. Let him think about what he's actually losing.
The stronger you are, the more you stand for your needs, respect, and less power you give him over you.
Thanks Fellas. I see based on the time stamps you were both up into the wee hours of the night. I now know why MH couldn't sleep... what's your excuse Fly?
I appreciate the positive reinforcement from the man bleachers. I know what I have to do and now that I know he is going to test me, hopefully I will be better prepared to handle it.
I got another visit from the bearded stranger this morning. I still did not handle it as well as I could have. Said something like, "I'm sorry, but I don't find it sexually attractive that you are screwing someone else." (Thanks Callie for your suggestion for better words next time around). Even after that he stuck around to just cuddle for an hour before we had to get up.
Son and I had a volunteer thing this morning. Was cold as heck but we had fun anyways. I even kind of got "asked out." When I mentioned I was late this morning because it took longer than I expected to load the Christmas tree on my little SUV to take the tree collection event one of the Dads took an interest in why I was doing it myself. I explained that we are experiencing a "MLC" in our household and I am "on my own" in a lot of ways for the moment. I didn't give too many details, just that things are a little tough right now and I don't know how it's going to go in the end. So this Dad (who I didn't realize before is divorced) told me he hoped the situation would work out the way I want, but if it doesn't, to remember that I already have his number. I am welcome to call him if I ever need to talk or if someday down the road I would want to go out.
I am pretty sure I blushed. I hope my mouth didn't hang open in shock.
So yeah, PMA is going pretty well at the moment.
me-35 WAS-37 T-16 1/2 Son-14 (HF Aspergers) BD,ILYBINILWY,"I met my soulmate": Oct5,2013 "Letting go because I love him, holding on because I love him."
Woo go you I've just been reading up for myself about when I am ready to start dating again and the answer came up was when you have become yourself and don't need anyone else. This is what you've shown by doing things with just you and your son. You're detached now from your MLC H and he's better watch out as if he wants to come back home, he's gonna have a lot of work to do
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
H was just getting ready to go now. I left the keys on the table so he wouldn't even have to ask me for them.
Then I passed him in the hall on my way up to the restroom. He says to me rather shortly, "You don't have to bring me the keys or my card back, I'll be down in a minute to get them."
I calmly replied: "I am just going to bathroom. The keys are sitting on the table, and I am pretty sure I gave you the card back earlier. Check and see, but I think you already have it."
Then I went and did my business. Took my sweet time, so he was out to the car by the time I was done.
No chasing here.
me-35 WAS-37 T-16 1/2 Son-14 (HF Aspergers) BD,ILYBINILWY,"I met my soulmate": Oct5,2013 "Letting go because I love him, holding on because I love him."
Stay true...Just keep doing what you're doing. Your guy seems to have quite the ego... I think backing wayyy off is the ticket. It seems to be working.
And, the flirting from the other guys musta been very nice!!! Sounds like he has some competition :-) Good!!!! He deserves a reality check of his own. Even if he never knows what happened, YOU KNOW and that makes all the difference--doesn't it?
Howz the job hunt going?
Lots of love to you,
Heather
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
I have applied to a few more online things, but so far no call backs.
In a couple of days when it stops being so cold I am going to go back to the places I dropped off applications with in person before the holiday and just "follow up" to let them know I am still looking (and hopefully they are too now that the holiday break is over).
I am trying to remind myself that it was just not the best time of year to be hunting for a job and hopefully now that Christmas and New Years are over, people will be "back to work" and hiring and all that good business.
A friend also sent me some info on writing and self publishing, but that of course is a "long term" plan to make some money, not immediate.
I am going to follow up with a woman I met at a Christmas party about putting together a website for her. So if that works out, it will be my first paying project.. which is something!
me-35 WAS-37 T-16 1/2 Son-14 (HF Aspergers) BD,ILYBINILWY,"I met my soulmate": Oct5,2013 "Letting go because I love him, holding on because I love him."
I think you will do just fine in putting a website together for the lady. You can do this and who knows...this just might be your foot in the door. Word of mouth tends to help in getting positions and she just might help you out.
This is very good news! Stay positive and it looks like the new year may be a good one for you!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Tiger, good luck on job hunting. I need one too, so I’m hopeful that there will be more offers now, since the holidays are over. The website idea sounds even better. It should also keep you busy, so you can be more detached from H’s antics.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
