Well, found out today that a friend of my H's has ovarian cancer.

Background - this is a woman in her 30's (divorced, single mom) who has worked with my h on charity committees. During the fall of 2002, a couple of months before the bomb, when my thyroid was at it's lowest and I was feeling exhausted and awful, H went on a weekend father-and-son trip to go waterskiing with some friends. This woman was also invited because she's a single mom (?) altho she was the only woman there. I remember H coming back from that weekend and talking about what a neat person she was. I wasn't jealous at the time (see what a saint I was ) because my extroverted husband is always very interested in people. Later, after the bomb was dropped about the OW (someone else) I thought suspiciously back to that weekend, and knew that at that time, my H must have been comparing me to this skinny, athletic woman in a very negative way.

Now let me make myself clear - I do not now nor did I ever really suspect my h of anything with this woman. Only that it pained me to figure out that while I was suffering the aftereffects of the radioactive iodine treatment that ablated my thyroid, he was thinking to himself "gee, maybe I could find myself a woman like this who's thinner and more athletic than my wife is right now". I always thought that this thinking was a precursor that helped get my H to the point where he was vulnerable to the OW when she showed up. And so it has always been a little difficult for me, dealing with this woman, although it's absolutely not her fault. And as my h has gotten to know her better, he has also gotten to see more of how dysfunctional she is.

She is a sweet person, though, and now faced with a serious problem. Luckily, the type of ovarian cancer she has (dysgerminoma) has a 90% cure rate - but she will still have to go through chemo, lose her hair, the whole nine yards. My H is a very caring person who knows she doesn't have a very good support system, and wants us both to really be there for her - and I will. I just need to exorcise those old demons! So I guess that's why I'm venting this here to you all. Then I can go out and be my usual saintly self

I do feel badly for her. Her teenage son just went to live with his dad (in the same area, though) and she broke up with her boyfriend a few months ago. Pretty bad timing, and her family is pretty dysfunctional, full of biodad/stepdad/stepmom/half-siblings/family secrets - quite a mess.

Ellie