I see a lot of good advice here for you on this one.
Yes, perhaps it's good to quit while you are ahead and leave the kids, you and H with good memories AS LONG as it works for YOU.
I do see you keep trying to "fix" your H's R with the kids...
I am with Ruby on this one. If you do something (like going to Dubai), it has to be about YOU. Make the trip fun for you and the kids. But have NO EXPECTATIONS about your H. If he joins you guys, great. If not, you still have an amazing time!
And don't make excuses for him. Always be truthful with your kids. They are smart and they deserve that. If they ask if dad is joining, say "Daddy might be working and he might not be able to join us, but we will have a great time doing x and y..."
Goes back to accepting and living your reality the best way you can, which is exactly that - sometimes H is there and sometimes he isn't. What your H does is out of your control and the truth is that you really don't know what he will do, but either way, make it OK. There is nothing wrong in expressing that reality to your kids either. Acceptance and making the best of your current situation is what is best for your kids. As mothers we want to shelter them from all pain and suffering, but we can't. The truth is that they will feel pain (they have been for 3 years now) and you cannot avoid that. So teach them that despite hurt and pain, life goes on and you can be strong and THRIVE. There is no such thing as a painless life - for anyone.
The key here is to make them feel ok with this current situation. How? Your strength will make them feel stable, not the excuses or actions you take to save face for your H. It's OK not to have all the answers.
Remember - everything has to be about what works for YOU, not him. You are not responsible for him or his R with the kids. You are responsible for your R with your kids and you are doing an amazing job at that.
Re. H's request for a proposal, is he asking for a custody proposal? I am not sure I am following... My question there - why can't HE give YOU a proposal?
(((((busting))))))
Me & H: 44 D7, D6, S3 Together: 20y, M: 17y EA: 11/13/10, Sep: 12/23/10 EA becomes PA: Spring 2011 H filed for D: 09/06/12 D Negotiating began 2/15 OW seemingly gone on 3/15 Still negotiating D
