So I sent her a friendly neighbor type email today. She does not have a good relationship with her family and her brother hasn't talked to her in years. I just said I hoped it was going well and that she has been able to work things out with her brother. Simple and considerate I think.
I looked up this set of threads for you, I want you to read every one of them please. It will take some time, so get to work.
I think it will help you put some things into perspective, I think it will help you with some goals, and most of all, I think it will give you an idea that its NEVER to late, if you put in the work.
I think that's the main gist of everything, but don't be afraid to use the "search" using his user name if you want to look up some of his advice to others over the years as well.
Being in a life crisis is like, for me anyways, being in a hole... I just don't buy into the fog thing. After being in my hole for a bit, i would climb up and take a peek and see what was happening. Sometimes I crawled all the way out for a quick jaunt... First sign of trouble I was scurrying back into the hole.
I am glad to hear that you didn't accept the offer of "something more"... CHD, Buddy. It is a great concept. I am proud of you. Give yourself a pat on the back...
“Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out” ― Art Linkletter
So I have had sporadic contact with my W. Apparently her visit to her family was not entirely pleasant. She was isolated and didn't feel well. She was not able to heal some of her family strife. Her return trip was a series of airline mishaps and they lost her luggage for two days. She is apparently still sick, but didn't know how bad she sounded until I called her. Apparently she hadn't talked to anyone in two days. I called to wish her a Happy New Year and she replied, "Yup." She let it be known that she is mad at me for leaving the cat for two weeks. However, I think she was really just mad I didn't let her watch the cat while I was away. (Something she said on my birthday.) I can't help but feel like she is being cold and distant. There are some things to suggest she is back to putting more distance between us. Our life insurance company called and asked to speak with my W, they did not want to talk with me.
I am glad to hear that you didn't accept the offer of "something more"... CHD, Buddy. It is a great concept. I am proud of you. Give yourself a pat on the back...
Forgive me, but what is CHD? I tried looking up, but nothing sounded right.
As for avoiding temptation, it was easier than I expected. My heart wasn't in it and I still have feelings for my W. If it isn't going to work out, I don't want it to be because of anything I did since BD.
A few updates. Feel free to help read the tea leaves.
I texted my W on Friday saying I hope she had a nice day. No expectations for a response. She promptly responded about her day and that began about 15 minutes of chatting back and forth. Some of it just silly, keeping things playful.
Saturday would normally be a day she would stop by to "see the cat," but I didn't hear from her until early that evening. As much as I wanted to contact her, I kept the struggle to myself. I was pleasantly surprised when she texted me to say she wanted to see the cat but wasn't feeling well. I told her I hoped she would be better soon.
Today, she texted me earlier than normal asking if she could stop by since she was feeling better. This would be the first time I have seen her in almost three weeks. She stopped at the grocery store on the way and put the perishables in the house fridge. She then turned her attention to the cat. She talked a little bit about her holiday. It didn't sound very pleasant. She admitted to spending 6-8 hours one day watching nothing but TV until three in the morning. This is the same person who wouldn't watch a movie with me if it went past nine pm. She then returned to her pattern of talking about work. I mostly listened, adding the occasional observation. After a little more than a half hour, she indicated she was starting to not feel well and got up to go. I told her I hope she gets well soon and she responded, "Yeah, bye."
Is she back to cold and distancing? Is she trying to avoid giving me hope? A bit of my anxiety and heartache returned today. I know it is caused at least in part by not sharing my feelings and asking the questions I want answers to. How do I change this dynamic?
