Barrybran II - Six Weeks In

[Barrybran]

Today has been a pretty good day. A lot of talk between my wife and I about our situation both through text message and face-to-face conversation.

I learned more about what separation means to her from wanting to punish me by sleeping with/dating someone else, then deciding not to and following her current path, to ruling out third parties while she works out what she wants and continuing her reading about recovering from infidelity. The gist of things was that she's definitely not interested in me as a husband right now but she wants to keep other people out, read as much as she can and explore our friendship until she can make an informed decision on what she wants to do. She currently feels as though our separation is a "break" rather than a path to divorce.

She also told me that she hasn't been going and seeing friends as much as I thought she had but rather going down to the park or driving around town to clear her head.

She also told me that she's enjoyed the past few days. We've discussed things in ways we've never done so, we've had an enormous amount of fun talking, playing video games and having sex and we're more playful around each other. She said again that she feels that a "weight has been lifted" and she's enjoying spending time with me without tension while feeling free to talk about whatever knowing we can discuss things now.

She also allowed me to give her a back rub and have a lay down on our bed next to her (she's been sleeping in my daughter's bed for the past six weeks).

The strangest part of the day was when she asked me if I had any sexual fantasies. I'm 30 so I'm young enough to be able to do pretty much anything but old enough to have kids and commitments. Basically, my young man fantasies are long gone. I told her this and that my current fantasies revolved around particular acts, places and frequency as opposed to anything too out there. She said this was boring which wasn't an answer I expected. Our sex life has been hampered by my infidelities as well as a relationship I had when we had broken up the first time and the frequency and adventure had gone. I asked her if she had any fantasies and she said she had a 2M-1F threesome in her younger days and lots of sex (both of which I already knew) but that she would still like to try a 2F-1M threesome. I said that I couldn't consider it unless she came to me with it if/when we reconcile in the future. Other than this she said she didn't know what she wanted sexually other than she wants more spontaneity. Not much I can do with this information at the moment but it's nice to know that she has higher expectations than what I've experienced so far.

So all in all, I feel that it was a pretty good day, especially when my wife revealed that she's enjoyed the past couple of days with me. Tomorrow is another day so we'll see what happens.