Well, I've jumped through all the hoops and, finally, my home refi will fund on Monday. Xh signed the title documents at the eleventh hour when it was spelled out for him that by deliberately hurting me he will be subject to sanctions.
Getting to this point has been incredibly difficult. When I look back at the start of it all, xh left, I had no job, I hadn't worked in 15 years and xh was threatening to stop paying the mortgage if I didn't agree to list our house. By the grace of God I landed a good job and have received several raises. I sacrificed to pay the mortgage and keep all of our bills/debts current. I did it!
The final step is to bring the remaining issues to a peaceful resolution. If I am forced to go to trial, I am prepared. My case is strong, but, honestly, I don't want to spend anymore of my life on this. I'm glad I did the research that I did. It put me in control. I stopped acting out of fear.
I have suggested mediation to my attorney. She's all for it, especially since she wants off this case. I found a mediator who is highly recommended. We've been in contact and will talk next week. I believe xh will opt for this since he is tired of paying legal fees. He's also at the end of the road. His last card to play was to try and convince everyone, including the boys, that I couldn't refi so "the house must be sold." He did everything he could to block my efforts.
I've learned through all of this that xh has a personality disorder and maybe more than one. I mean that in the most serious clinical sense. His gambling is just one expression of a very big underlying issue. It explains all of his narcissistic behavior, lack of emotional attachment, paranoid thinking, lying, etc. I finally understand what I've been dealing with all of these years. Of course, there were periods of time when life together was very enjoyable. That's what I held onto. I chose to see the good in xh or maybe I just buried my head in the sand. I don't know.
I just want my life back. I am praying for peace with every bit of me.
