After my rant I realized I need to give myself a peptalk to try and snap myself out of this funk.
1) I don't know what is happening but that doesn't mean I can't do anything about it. 2) My financial dependence on him is making this so much worse. I NEED a better job ASAP. If I can eliminate the need for his paycheck I will be able to better gauge what value he brings to my life. 3)I am incredibly attracted to him which makes things very difficult when I am around him. He smiles at me and I melt, and that makes me want to push for more closeness. I need to remind myself that physical attraction is not enough to save my marriage right now. 4) Even if he tells me tomorrow that he is sorry and takes it all back and can't live without me, I have to remember not to accept the status quo. If we are going to work it out, it has to work better than before. I think getting my financial situation in order will help with this.
40s 2teens M14Y BD-10/12/13 rec-1/14 BD2-5/14 rec2-9/14 EA disc-10/14 4/15-BD 3 and triangulation ensues Served with D6/15 MS forced to leave7/15 D agreement signed 8/16 final 5/17
