yup - i'm all for lack of drama - golden rule- simple and "true" values - i say this is what life is allllll about.
nope- we don't tell them to just switch w hen the goin gets tough. i'm not sure really about whether people really do change soooooo drastically (as in jeckle & hyde) . i know life changes us all- does it make a "good" person rotten? i'd have thought not.
can a decent person be allll caught up in crummie stuff and act like a jerk? apparently yes. that i will concede.
does it mean he is a jerk for eternity? idk - honestly. i hope not- i'm not holdin my breath tho.
i don't like the idea of a world with no love, no til death do us part- no honesty, trust, loyalty, devotion, etc.
it's "nice" to have any of above & believe in them - practice them. (or all- even better)
im not sure what we do with this ideal-
i guess live honestly as who we are? even if it's archiac and laughable to young people or most people?
be me - be you - the he!l with anyhone else's opinion of what it makes us?
maybe i'll feel differently in five years. maybe not-
a good friend called this a.m. early to chat because she was upset and just advised that the woman she works closely with for past five years - teacher in same room - has been diagnosed with bone cancer- it's very bad & she's very young. it's soo unfair, rotten, impossible to believe.... etc.
makes me glad for the simple fact of being alive & well. it's not a fair life- mine has been good for f60 yrs before i found out i'm possibly a giant jerk. i guess i can be okay with that- if that's what it turns out to be in the end. me being a huge fool - but feeling fortunate for so long.
what h is? idk i find it hard as heck to over look allllllll that good and soooooo many years of being sure he wsa such a good person. i hope i'm not wrong (totally) . i'm sure i'll know someday.
not today tho-
oh well- it's cold as heck outside. froze myh buns off clearing off car- neighbor shoveled my walk- human kindness - still alive & well - yay. & instead of "doing what i should" i moseyed down to my sister's house- ate some home made rolled cabbage & sat in sunny kitchen with my butt near the radiator , had a cup of coffee and chatted. verypleasant little visit. we mulled over the insanity of my nazi sister & her h who were going nuts on the phone this morning- and i hung up the phone. first time in my entire life i've everhung up on anyone.
she was whipping herself into a martyr frenzy and honestly, i wasn't even being bad - just asked her a question about something only she knew and i needed to. i think her strategy is to go straight into a very vicious attack and bully/scare away anyone she doesn't want to deal with. I wonder about her marbles- if they're all present and acccounted for. could hear her h screaming from seat in car next to her" get off the phone - don't talk to her". not too tightly wrapped - the pair of them.
i do not need the aggro of dealing with a couple junk yard dogs. man-
i'm outta here. snow is pretty- i'm calm - i just do not care today . i don't want to any more.
