WR, Ignore it. She's ramping up because she wants you to feel sorry her brother and give him everything he wants. The best thing to do is ignore the messages. She's only trying to rattle your cage and push you into doing something you don't want to do. It's called bullying you into submission. The best way to deal w/a bully is to ignore their sorry @sses.
File the message away and if she continues down the merry road of bullying file a harassment charge against her. But for now, let her spew and spew and when she realizes you aren't responding, she very well might stop it.
Obviously your h has been running his lips and they've been flapping quite a bit. Notice how when you responded to your h that you hadn't heard from your lawyer, she started back in? Well, I'm going to say this, and I hope that I'm wrong...if you take the bait and respond, this behavior will continue and I wouldn't be surprised if it continued even after the divorce.
You will know when you have had enough of her sh@t and want to file a harassment charge against her. I certainly wouldn't say anything to your h because he may be egging her on to do it. Silence is golden and believe me, nothing gets their goats better than being quiet. File the message away for future use just in case you need to file.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
