[labug]

Different for me - in the past I would have pushed to try adn get her to tell me what was wrong or to try and see how I could help.

Maybe this is part of detachment???? Being present and willing to help if needed / wanted while at the same time providing some space / distance so they can be responsible for themselves?

Yes, it is detachment.

After all, if she moves forward with her plans I will have to take care of all those things anyway, right????

That's a fact I learned very quickly when H left. You accept the reality and do the best you can.

Took similar approach as you describe this year and seemed to work out ok.

Focus on this: seemed to work out ok
I was amazed to learn that even without all my fretting and worrying, things worked out fine.

took time to just watch Christmas movies w/S8, etc.... And was fairly successful in not getting stressed about what wasn't getting done.

Good for you and S8. Those are the times that kids remember, not how many wreaths were hung. Focus on the interactions.

I ended up hanging the wreaths and lights in the windows because I had done other decorations and wanted to get them either hung or put away. Waited about 4-5 days to give W plenty of opportunity (w/o saying anything else) and then just took care of it while she was out one evening. Curious why you asked about that specifically?

Because she asked you to leave them...and you didn't. I think these sentences might say a lot about you and your growth through this:

And was fairly sucessful in not getting stressed about what wasn't getting done. (and)Wish others had been more engaged but all seemed to work out fine.

Don't let your happiness be dictated by others.

Happy New Year to you!

Remember these words from you: seemed to work out ok