I think LBH places too much importance on 'hope' and this just delays 'acceptance' and leads to prolonged hurt.
I'm not sure I agree about it prolonging the hurt. I know in my case that early on I saw only one "solution" and that was reconciliation. I simply could not see surviving if I didn't reconcile. Hope for that reconciliation is the only thing that got me through the early days. Eventually I came to realize that I would survive whether with or without my wife, and then beyond that I came to realize that not only would I survive, but I would have a wonderful, fulfilling, FUN life even without my W. Ironically I think it would have taken me longer to recover had it not been for the hope I had early on.
Each of us has to decide how long to hold onto hope. Some people let go right away and others hold onto it for years. There is no right or wrong approach, it's a personal decision.
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I know this is a very cynical way to look at the situation in general but placing unnecessary thoughts and feelings for something that is not guaranteed is too much of a burden to carry at times.
Well if it were guaranteed then there would be no need for hope. Basically what you are saying is no one should ever hope for anything, because there are no guarantees. So you shouldn't hope that your kids succeed because they might not. And you shouldn't hope that you have a great career because you might not. Do you think that's a sensible way to approach life?
