I feel like they are actively participating in the breakup of my family.
Feelings are often wrong, don't rely on them. I remember one of the guys here reconciled with his W and in the discussions they had after reconciling he found out that her friends that he HATED because he thought they were enabling her behavior and telling her to leave him were in fact advising her to get back together with him. So try not to mind-read, you really don't know what they're telling her.
The thing is, WAS's want out and they want everyone to tell them they're doing the right thing, so they seek out people to validate them. THAT is the WAS's fault, not anyone else's. The WAS will lie about their sitch, say the LBS abused them, was mean to them, treated them badly, etc. etc. etc. all so they can convince people to tell them that leaving is the right thing to do. All the LBS can do is show everyone through ACTIONS that they are not who the WAS is making them out to be.
