I would like to add H is noticing how much he has hurt us and has made reference. When he speaks about it in detail, it can be under different personalities. In anger he justifies his doins, in depression he digs deep, then there's arrogance where he doesn't care, then there just seems to be this even person emerge and he's humbled.

None of this has made a dent in my R with him. My ideas of change are so much more than he can live up to, and I'm not asking him to.

I feel like kind of an a$$ faking the laughter, or giving him that sense of security, but I would like him to be healthy, no matter how things work out. I believe I play some roll in that, he seems to really reach out.

Going on 2.6 yrs has really tought me alot of my own issues and set me straight to those of my M.

The past can't be ahead of you in the future.
You don't have to figure it all out, just pick a direction.
What's next...I don't know but I can't wait!