Thanks everyone for chiming in. GM, I think your comments were pretty much on point. I am bewildered how seeing your child in that much pain would not be enough for a parent to take a moment and consider if the track they are on is "right", if that is enough to even *think* that being apart *may* be a bad decision (assuming there was no abuse or other previous severe issues). But yes, I think she has issues that extend way beyond me that just keep her from seeing things that way. Sometimes I just want to shout "stop hurting our son!" - but I know that would be faaaar from wise or productive.
Rick & Bug - I hadn't really thought about connecting him with a Dr. on the matter. I'll for sure think about that as an option.
IC tonight told me tonight that it may be beneficial for me to say something about it later....considering it was the second incident. Something along the lines of "I am concerned because.......here's why I feel that way and what I have observed.....it makes me believe that.....what I would like to see instead is....". I just have to have the courage to say it -- still grapple with confrontation with her in the fear that it will do more harm than good.
She also warned me to address the possibility that part of me may want to "punish" her by making her face the consequences of her actions relative to our son. It's a legit thing for her to say just by virtue of the fact that part of me DOES want her to acknowledge the impact this is having on our S. IC said that for a three year old to say that they "hate" a parent is pretty harsh....regardless of context.
I guess at the end of the day I know how I feel when I see him in that much pain....I would do anything I could to ease it for him. I still have anger that surfaces when I think about her saying she "wanted better" for S on BD.
By the way, GM, we are not on a one-on one-off schedule. We split parts of the week so he doesn't have to spend a long time away from either of us. I have less time, but she said she is open to changing it.
