No major news or movement. S is in IA with XW right now and won't be back till Sunday. Over the past few days she has sent pictures of him - but I did not respond. Finally today I texted and said thanks for sending the pictures - that it looked like S was having a great time. Just asked her to keep warm (it's crazy cold out there) and to give S a hug for me. That's been pretty much it in terms of communication.
What I am really wrestling with right now is whether or not I should talk to her about everything that happened with S during the transition on Christmas Eve (see previous post). There had been a previous incident where he had a major breakdown about transitioning from one house to the other while I was dropping him off at preschool -- he sobbed uncontrollably and clung to me like a vine. When I later called the school to see if he was doing better they said he wasn't himself and kept telling the teachers and aides that he didn't want his mom to come get him, that he wanted his dad to come get him. He even peed on himself which is highly, highly atypical for him.
Later, when I tried to express concern to XW (texting) about the incident she said "I am not going to assign adult emotions to a three-year-olds antics". At that point, I stopped typing. "Antics"....she called it "antics". I know that what I saw was nothing in that category at all.
I guess I say all of that to ask if a broader discussion is warranted with XW about her taking the emotions and feelings of S more seriously. Thus far, it appears to me that her choice is to avoid or minimize them. I am partially of the belief that this is done to avoid having to confront some of the negatives from the decision to D. I don't mean to confront her from a "look what you've done" standpoint, but from a "we should take this more serously at this age" standpoint. I mean, he said he hated her. I have NEVER heard him use that word in reference to anyone or anyTHING for that matter -- ever. The first time I hear it out of his mouth it's in reference to his mother? Shouldn't she be a little concerned? Am I off base?
Anyhow, just thinking out loud I guess. It was really, really, really hard for me to see S in that much pain and then have to walk away from him when I knew he needed/wanted me. The moment was haunting and gut-wrenching and I can't see how XW was not impacted by it. It was truly one of the worst experiences I have had in this whole process.
