Sure, Don't tell the kids anything about H. it's all about you and them
If they say "isn't this where Daddy lives." Say absolutely, but he is super busy and hopefully he gets to see us, but this is funtime for us!!!"
You can always make it just about you and the babies, Of course it is about H too but you can keep that to yourself, right?
And let me say, when the behaviour is disappointing these days, it just reminds me that it is not about me at all. I don't make those choices.
Don't require a thing from H. Don't ask when why if. That way there is no pressure for him at all and you show you can comfortably and with great aplomb handle this.
The trust is hard.
This time if he says to kids "I will be there" and doesn't show or is late, you can say Dad got caught up in work etc. Normally I don't think lying is right but here you get to test what is happening and where H might be as a parent.
Is it risky? Heck ya, but you know you can pitch it to the kids so they don't feel abandoned. But can you handle it? If not, don't go.
