2nd time around. H wants D. I don't

[NotAgainPlease]

I was asked what happened prior to the bomb ILYBINILWY. Well here it goes.
My H had job as a paramedic. H work 24 hour shift. on this particular day he went over to our neighbors house and was drinking. When he came home I said I can't believe you disrespected me and went over there.
Back story...a month or so prior my neighbor had a garage sale and I bought something that belong to another neighbor and paid him. My H and neighbor got very drunk. Neighbor did not remember me paying him and said I was lying. Long story. I asked my husband to support me on that. He remembers me coming over with money but doesn't remember me actually paying him but was sure I did and told the neighbor.
anyway, after I asked my husband that he exploded. We had a nasty fight and he would not let me leave the house. It got pretty physicalI was able to run out of the house and take his truck to pick up my kids from practice. He got in my car and followed me and try to run me off the road. It was very ugly.
The next day he was devistated. I told him it was unexceptable. and not to make an excuse but he been up for two days and then was drinking. It wasn't in any way the norm for H.
We tried to work through it. Prior to H going to reunion where he reconnected with a classmate. which turned out to be an emotional affair for a few months. H came home from a shift and was very upset. Because he would pick up women who are abused by there spouse and he was having a hard time with that.
H then told me we could not be together because he never wanted to do that again.
That's what happened along with his schooling and training to be a firefighter/paramedic the past 3 years. Not being able to get a fire job. Finally getting one and the city put a freeze on it. This was 2 weeks after starting EA.