Looking at all that food your family and you prepared, you'd be rolling me around town. Looks like you had a blast too. Glad you had a wonderful time with your friends and family.
Kml, in my sitch there was no known OW. Still isn’t. I suspect that H had some interest in a woman in another state where he worked, but it seems that it didn’t go anywhere. He told me that they were just friends. I suspect that he did have something for her, but I cannot be sure though and I cannot prove it and probably never will, unless H comes back and tells me the truth.
Rose, it looks like we have some similarities in our stitches. We didn’t fight often, we just had some arguments about his female friends once in a while and him not wanting to do any activities with me. Other than that we were very compatible. Like your H, my didn’t like confrontation and tried to avoid the problems. He left to find a more harmonious relationship.
I agree with Wonka’s advice to leave the FB account and just not post anything that could be used against you.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
BF H and I did argue, often, I was sometimes quite demanding and frustrated and he had his issues......I thought there was some other people with spouses without OP, I knew it was rare but couldn't remember whose info I had read.
H has blocked me on FB again.....it's a lot of work to block, unblock, and block again.....he needs a hobby!
SO HERE IS ANOTHER TEXT QUESTION...... H messaged me this am asking if S14 was home today. I told him he was busy with S19 doing stuff around the house and would be in and out. Then I got this and need help answering
"Have you heard from the L?? visa is calling and will just take the money like they did in the summer making it impossible to pay. I don't want to start by screwing up the first payment"
His first payment and we have problems. Does he think that through christmas holidays this was going to happen? That it will happen between today and tomorrow (when my payment is due?) How do I make it clear that if he bounces this I will have his wages garnished which means his work will be contacted to make that happen. I'm so mad!!!!! I need help to respond because my response is going to start a war
M 16 T 20 M 41 H 39 S 19 S 15 Bomb drop April 4; Moved out April 13 D started-full force ----------------------- Dancing through the fire Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR
A little more explanation maybe, about the payment and visa etc. You could go a lot of different ways here, sure does put in laws text about your H and his homelessness in perspective...
Seems that H has know for a while he may not make this payment...
If between today and tomorrow it's not going to be "fixed" and obviously H knew it was coming due, then he is not coughing up, is he?
Give me some background on the payment, what is required etc and maybe I can offer a path you could take.
He racked up two different visas and now has to pay approx $1400/month to keep the creditors at bay. I pay approx $2100/mortgage.
I'm fairly certain H has known he never intended to pay....or partial payment.
It's not going to be fixed by tomorrow. I can't honestly think he believes I'll be cutting him a cheque tomorrow......he has been waiting for this money for months!! He spends without having cash in hand, always has, and then when things don't pan out exactly as he anticipates he gets himself into trouble. I've always worked with him to fix it but not now (obviously).
So I was thinking
"That sounds like a difficult situation. I'm sure you'll figure it out"
thoughts?
M 16 T 20 M 41 H 39 S 19 S 15 Bomb drop April 4; Moved out April 13 D started-full force ----------------------- Dancing through the fire Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR
"H, no, I haven't heard from my lawyer and he/she will contact me when he/she is ready to move forward. Sounds like a difficult situation that you are in. I'm sure you'll figure it out."
He should have thought about all of this when he racked up the credit cards. In fact, he should have thought about that while out purchasing presents for the kids. Oh, yeah, he's known for quite some time he wasn't going to pay or provide even a partial payment.
Whatever you do, don't help him out. He needs to learn to be accountable for his own actions w/o you bailing him out. Yes, he actually thought you may have had a check and wasn't going to give it to him. He doesn't realize, nor does he truly care, that the holidays and your lawyer has other clients besides yourself. Trying to do refinancing and mortgages takes time. You certainly can't snap your fingers and have it done. He will just have to wait and figure out how to take care of his own mess. He's hoping that if he bugs you enough, you'll call and push your lawyer to get moving...don't do it. As you know, each and every time you contact the law office, it costs you money. Let him sit and stew.
As for his FB account, let the little boy stew because he's only hurting himself by acting out. When he discovers that no one cares about that account, he'll once again friend you. It's called game playing.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I sent it like you suggested Job, we'll see what happens, I guess.
He's made plans with the boys tomorrow.....I hope they're free! How's it not ok to take care of your kids....I just don't get it.
I'm too old for these games!! Last time I checked, he was too!! UGGGGG
M 16 T 20 M 41 H 39 S 19 S 15 Bomb drop April 4; Moved out April 13 D started-full force ----------------------- Dancing through the fire Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR
M 16 T 20 M 41 H 39 S 19 S 15 Bomb drop April 4; Moved out April 13 D started-full force ----------------------- Dancing through the fire Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR
Are those credit cards in H's name only? If yes, then I would just let H twist in the wind as he brought this on by himself. You take care of the meaty, important stuff like the house, utility bills, food, and boy's clothes.
