Soooooo... my boss is early 60's, married 35 or so years, two daughters, both fully grown with great jobs and married with children. They have zero debt, nice cars, a big, beautiful house. They go on several vacations a year to a timeshare in Cabo. Boss's W just retired and now spends much of her time caring for the grandkids. When I was going through all the misery after BD I just kept thinking "man, if he only knew how lucky he is!!!" His M survived raising kids, menopause, etc. etc. So we go to lunch today and start talking, turns out he got BD'd yesterday. She's been unhappy for years, she's ready to walk out the door, he needs to get his s*** together or she's gone. What a way to start the new year! Needless to say I had plenty of info to share with him. He's been doing a lot of the wrong stuff- trying to convince her the M is great, asking her to remember all the vacations they have each year, the house, etc. He said at this point she says she's willing to work on things, but she gave him an ultimatum. I told him I'd give him my copies of DR and 5LL to read and also sent him a link to the Retrouvaille site (there's a session coming up in our area in a couple of weeks). Theirs is apparently a SSM too, he said they've been ML once or twice a YEAR. My fingers are crossed that it's not too late for him.
