Nero, When you are ready to let him go, you will. Don't beat yourself up because you still think you need him to be in touch w/you. Sometimes it takes a long time to say I'm dropping the rope and moving along w/my life.
Use your anger and frustration to continue cleaning. When you are done, you'll be amazed at what you've accomplished.
Come here to vent, etc., we all have traveled the road you are on and we do understand.
Please be careful lifting and moving heavy objects.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
