My post probably comes off w/ the feel "STEP A B C" because we have no property to separate etc...
I didn't mean to imply that, what I was really trying to say is that, at least to me, I -thought- dropping the rope would be a simple process of just deciding I was dropping it and it would be done quickly. But it wasn't like that at all, for me the statement that I was dropping the rope was just the very beginning of the process. It's different for each of us though.
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My blocking him isn't because it hurts me to see his photos necessarily, but it's b/c I simply no longer care to see what he's doing and I don't want him to have access to my life in any form either. I don't have any feelings when I see the pics w/ the possible OW.
Well it sounds like you're in a good place then. When things our WAS says/ does still affect us in negative ways then we haven't let go yet.
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I don't know if there is a set definition around here for "dropping the rope" maybe someone else can chime in on that?
I don't think there is either, in fact I got in a disagreement on one of my older threads with some others over what exactly it meant. I finally quit using the term because of the confusion over it.
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To me it is an acceptance of defeat when it comes to my H/marriage...
I don't think anyone here should ever use that word ("defeat") because even if you decide you don't want to stand for your M anymore, you have been through so much growth by now that you have won regardless of whether your M continues or not. You've fought valiantly for your M and the fact that it didn't survive does not mean you lost, it means that your spouse lost. We make ourselves into the spouses only a fool would leave, and if they leave anyway well then they ARE fools.
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Sure it can be seen as giving up.
But it can also be seen as taking control of your life again, and you can hold your head high knowing you did the right thing and conducted yourself with honor and dignity even while your spouse did not.
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It's not however a defeat personally, I have grown through the process and will continue to grow. I've learned the art of letting go gracefully...and in that sense, I won.
