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KdogGS Offline OP
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Minister Max Lucado does a series called Upwords that get emailed to me daily. I thought today's was pretty poignant for both WAW and LBS'. Check it out-


Face to Face With Our Past

All of us at one time or another come face to face with our past. And it’s always an awkward encounter. When our sins catch up with us we can do one of two things: run or wrestle.

Many choose to run. They brush it off with a shrug of rationalization. “I was a victim of circumstances.” Or, “It was his fault.” The problem with this escape is it’s no escape at all. It’s only a shallow camouflage.

The best way to deal with our past is to roll up our sleeves, and face it head on. No more buck-passing or scapegoating. No more glossing over or covering up. No more games.

We need a confrontation with our Master, eyeball to eyeball, and be reminded that left alone we fall. If you wonder if you’ve gone too long to change, take courage. No man is too bad for God!


H: 29
WAXW: 30

Bomb Drop- 9/9/13
Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14
D Final- 5/21/14
XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
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short and to the point. sounds great.


me: 47, W:49
M 16.5 years
T 17 years
Three kids - D17,D14, S13
Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13
Bomb drop 11/29/13
W moved out 12/5/13
I Retained L 2/20/14
D filed 3/17/14
Joined: Mar 2013
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Great message. Thank you for sharing that.

I think what you posted regarding you W is fine. You could drop it off for her to save the trip. A random act of kindness never hurt.


“Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out” ― Art Linkletter

M - 06/01
D - 05/14
Joined: Sep 2013
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KdogGS Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: MrCAS
Great message. Thank you for sharing that.

I think what you posted regarding you W is fine. You could drop it off for her to save the trip. A random act of kindness never hurt.


I would offer to do that, but she lives with her parents, and in her initial paperwork they requested/demanded that I stay away from their house.


H: 29
WAXW: 30

Bomb Drop- 9/9/13
Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14
D Final- 5/21/14
XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 9,676
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I think your email was just right.

The other inspirational message was also pretty to the point, don't take things personally. Most of us are reacting to hurts that happened long ago.

That's why it's so important to keep your focus on you.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
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Kdogs, thank you for sharing that...It pretty much sums up where we are as a society today.... Charlie Daniels has a song with the following in it, "People done put their Bibles away and are living by the law of the jungle instead of the law of the land"....

Just hang in there K, you are getting excellent advice and counsel. There is nothing easy about any of this, keep moving forward and in time you will find things really do get easier..............


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K could you send the flash drive in the mail to her?
That's unfortunate she has the order against you....I am glad you've done nothing but been a class act in your sitch, thus showing that order was unnecessary.


me: 30 H:30
tgthr:7 m:4
no kids
5 counseling sessions initiated by H as a LR: Oct 2012
long distance marriage b/c of work since Nov 2012
official BD: July 2013
nothing filed
1/1/14 I dropped the rope
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KdogGS Offline OP
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She actually already responded to me and did wish me a happy birthday from her and her family. That's interesting.

She also said she was going to stop by today to get the mail and stuff. I told her I have company in town and she may want to wait until after the weekend. I don't want things to be awkward for my family or for her as my family will be here if she were to stop by.

I did thank her and asked her to thank her family for me.


H: 29
WAXW: 30

Bomb Drop- 9/9/13
Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14
D Final- 5/21/14
XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 463
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KdogGS Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: Mimi00
K could you send the flash drive in the mail to her?
That's unfortunate she has the order against you....I am glad you've done nothing but been a class act in your sitch, thus showing that order was unnecessary.


The external hard drive is a big thing, 1 TB of storage space, it weighs a bit too, easier for her to pickup than mail.

And they don't have a restraining order or anything formally, but they requested in her initial dissolution of marriage paperwork that I stay away from their house. I haven't been within 20 miles of their place since BD.


H: 29
WAXW: 30

Bomb Drop- 9/9/13
Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14
D Final- 5/21/14
XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 463
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KdogGS Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: MrCAS
A random act of kindness never hurt.


I have done many random acts of kindness, often with no acknowledgement from her.

I did give her half of that coupon book I got, because there was no way I would ever use them all, they were two identical books. Her brother had bought one a previous year and taken us places with the coupons so it was sort of payback.

I put much love into her car before I gave it back to her. I had nothing to do with it breaking down on her.

I also did send her a Christmas card, thanking her for giving me back my car in such good condition. It was a funny card with a wiseman saying he brought so much myrh because he had a groupon. W loves groupon and would buy them just cuz they were good deals. In the card, I thanked her, and sent her a $50 gift card we had never used to cheesecake factory. I kept the other half of the gift cards, so it was really just dividing gift cards.

In her parents card, I thanked them for their love and support earlier in the year (slight exaggeration) and for helping me to find my way back to my faith when I was so lost. They really were important in that regard. I didn't hear anything from them, not that I expected to either.

Anyway, sort of regret some of my random acts of kindness, because I think she perceives my kindness as weakness.


H: 29
WAXW: 30

Bomb Drop- 9/9/13
Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14
D Final- 5/21/14
XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
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