... over the time that H was on his walkabout (thanks, RT).
^^^ Love it.
Originally Posted By: labug
Here's what I noticed about me, where my work is. A few things happened during the evening that made me want to fix. (almost like made me want to use, huh?) When H arrived he looked either unhappy or in pain. I asked "Are you OK?" he said yes but I could feel the "I have to make this better anxiety" creeping in...but I am present enough now to ask myself, what is this I'm feeling, is it mine to do anything about it?
My answers: I'm feeling anxiety for no reason because he said he's fine. If he's not fine, it's his unless he asks for my help. And no matter how he's feeling, it doesn't have to change how I'm feeling.
Bam! I sat down and continued to enjoy the peace and White Christmas.
Awesome! I am in that EXACT same place of awareness. I am noticing the how my 180 on these minor sitch's have really positively affected not only myself but W as well.
Happy New Year! You continue to inspire me and I just luv ya for it!
Me(F):40 WAW:44 T:13yrs M:9yrs BD:2/12 (I saw a text) ILYBINILWY: 5/12 PA admission: 12/12 (began 3/11) S:2/13 Moves in w/AP D begins: 7/13 W moves home to R: 10/13
Me & H: 44 D7, D6, S3 Together: 20y, M: 17y EA: 11/13/10, Sep: 12/23/10 EA becomes PA: Spring 2011 H filed for D: 09/06/12 D Negotiating began 2/15 OW seemingly gone on 3/15 Still negotiating D
Well, well where have I been? Miss a little, miss a lot, obviously!
I'm so happy to see where things have been heading in your R with your H. You've definitely put in the work and to see you reaping the rewards of your labor is like putting icing on the cake.
I don't have anything to add at this point other than my support and a pat on the back for a job well done!!
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
Yes, 2, where have you been? Thanks for dropping by.
Things are good and seem to get better everyday.
When H first moved back in, there were periods of time when I was thinking, hmmmm maybe we did this too soon. It was a LOT, getting used to having another adult in the house. Instead of reacting to the anxiety, I just sat with things and as time goes on, things are evening out and it's actually fun. We are having fun and we haven't done that for a long time. Even before he left we had gotten so closed off to each other that even when we did fun things, we weren't really having fun. (if that makes sense)
On Saturday, H put his wedding ring back on. I was surprised at how much that affected me. To catch up to the story, I had taken my wedding ring off before he did. I did it after I had a temp check conversation with him, in which he reiterated that he was in fact, still done.
I came home and took my ring off. He did it a couple of weeks later when he noted that I had mine off. I was hurt by that, and was surprised by the hurt.
But now we both have the rings back on, an outward symbol of the internal commitment.
And so it goes.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
me: 47, W:49 M 16.5 years T 17 years Three kids - D17,D14, S13 Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13 Bomb drop 11/29/13 W moved out 12/5/13 I Retained L 2/20/14 D filed 3/17/14
Ahhhh....I am so happy for you, bug!! And, of course, admittedly envious!
Tell me, though, was there ever a period of time when you were 100%, without a doubt certain that this whole thing was done, dead, over without a chance of revivial? How did you cope? How did H act? Did you guys even interact at that point? Just curious.....and probably looking for coping mechanisms!
I seriously have goosebumps reading your update. I just took my ring off a few days ago. It is crazy that two little rings can carry so much emotion. You are a true inspiration
Love it. 